Miscast
by underhandlilies
Summary: As a Sorcerer's Apprentice, Cloud already has a lot to worry about. Being turned into a frog and threatened with consumption shouldn't have been one of them. Belated birthday fic of sorts for RegenesisX.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy VII or the characters within it. I am gaining no profit from this work of fan-fiction.

**._._._.**

**Miscast**

**An Accidental Final Fantasy VII Fan-Fiction**

**._._._.**

Cloud stood on his very tiptoes and peered into the cauldron. It was bubbling. He couldn't remember if this was a very good thing, or a very bad thing. If it was good, Genesis wouldn't say anything. But if it was bad…Cloud would _know_.

Giving a little shudder, Cloud dropped back to the floor, adjusting his too-big robe where it was slipping off at the shoulder, and set off to get the Book. If there was anything about what he was supposed to be doing, it would be in the Book.

Cloud had only been a Sorcerer's Apprentice for about three months, but he'd already learned how things worked. He watched what Genesis did. Every once in a while, he would be given a task, of some sort. If he completed the task, he didn't face Genesis's wrath; and maybe he learned something, like "Don't mix scarlet newts and butterfly dreams in the same cauldron", or "never summon a Behemoth in the toilets". Most of this stuff he'd learned with the help of the Book.

The Book was Genesis's prime source of power. Cloud wasn't supposed to even _touch_ it, actually, but Genesis was out on an errand, and _he'd_ left the cauldron on. Genesis forbade him from opening it because, as it was magic, only a true Sorcerer would be able to control its powers. Otherwise…things tended to get _Out _rather than stay _In. _One time, a gremlin had escaped into the real world, and gotten into Cloud's underwear drawer; but Cloud had easily managed to bind it back (though with the sacrifice of having shredded underpants). And what Genesis didn't know, wouldn't hurt Cloud.

It would be better to just take a quick peek, instead of letting an accident happen with whatever his Master was working on. The last time that had happened, he'd enchanted Cloud's tongue. It had wanted to lick the chamber pots the rest of the week, which hadn't been fun. At all.

Biting his tongue, Cloud hopped up to Genesis's desk and fetched the Book. It was nearly as thick as him; maybe thicker, he noted resentfully. He lugged it with some difficulty over to Genesis's desk, being careful not to spill any papers, and cautiously opened the cover a crack.

Nothing.

Cloud giggled nervously. He'd really been expecting another gremlin.

A little more confident now, Cloud skipped to the index, tracing 'bubbling' to 'cauldron', and flipping to the page, peering nervously over his shoulder every once in a while. He finally found a picture of the potion, tracing his finger over it and frowning. The passage was blotted out.

That was odd.

Cloud hurriedly turned the page, forgetting about cautionary tactics. Maybe Genesis had blotted it out, or he was going to fill in a new page? But the second page was blotted out _too. _Cloud chewed his lip, really upset now. Maybe he should just turn off the cauldron?

Cloud turned the page absent-mindedly now, weighing the pros and cons. It wouldn't hurt to turn it off, would it? The worst Genesis could get was into a tongue-lashing fury, anyways…

And that was when a sound came from the Book.

Cloud's hands immediately jerked backwards as he yelped, scrambling for something to defend himself. He finally grabbed the broom, holding it out towards the open pages threateningly.

A lump was moving under the page, pushing upwards and then back down, wriggling towards the edge of the page. Cloud watched wide-eyed, broom at the ready. He hoped he'd grabbed the magic broom and not the regular broom; the small enchanted things were always the nastiest to beat off.

The lump paused at the edge of the page. Ever so slowly, it slid forward, and two big, red eyes peered out.

It was a _frog. _

Cloud stared.

The frog blinked, and then began to wiggle out of the pages with a determined _ribbit. _Finally, it managed to pull itself onto the desk, where it sat and focused its large eyes on Cloud.

Cloud smiled at it in relief. "Aw! Hi there!" He bent down, leveling his eyes with the frog.

"Ribbit," said the frog.

"Aren't you pretty?" Cloud said. It was true; the frog was a bright emerald green, almost too bright to look at it. It was stunning in a world of dusty tomes and faded colors. Cloud had always loved frogs. He reached out to skritch its head, but then bit his lip, thinking. Well, it didn't look harmful, sure. Cloud actually liked frogs; he thought they were pretty cute, and had tried to bring them home more than once. After all, it didn't hurt to have frogs; they channeled good luck and magic where they frequented. But Genesis _hated _them. He always said that if he ever saw one around, he'd eat it; which had discouraged Cloud from bringing them home before.

This meant that, whether Cloud had wanted it or not, he was in _trouble_.

The solution was either to get it back in the Book, _fast, _or to just quickly get it out of the place. Cloud, predictably, panicked as he moved back towards the desk.

"Hey," Cloud cooed, his voice cracking. "C'mon, let's get you out of here."

The frog blinked at him, calmly watching him approach.

"Yeah, there we go," Cloud said, reaching out to pick up the frog. "Let's get you out before you and I both get in trouble—"

In blatant disobedience, the frog suddenly sprang right over Cloud's head, landing with a sticky _plop _against the wall. Cloud whirled around, just in time for the frog to spring again, right for the Cures shelf. A few bottles rattled precariously, and Cloud quivered. That was way too close.

"You don't understand," Cloud said desperately, "He'll _eat _you if he finds you here!" He dove for the frog, who was hopping towards the cauldron; he had to stop him before he got there, because he didn't know _what _would happen if a frog got in the potion.

(He was more concerned for the frog, but his well-being _was_ at stake too.)

Cloud gave a happy yelp of triumph as his fingers closed around the frog. Hitting the floor, he clutched it to his chest and raced for the door. He would be able to get the frog out _and_ stop the potion! Genesis wouldn't be eating frog tonight!

In Cloud's hands, the frog began protesting and wriggling. It seemed to be getting…hotter, and harder to hold. Cloud tried to tighten his fingers around it, not daring to look down. He needed to get to the door…

…which was suddenly getting further and further… away…?

Cloud's mouth dipped into a frown, and he was a little perturbed when the edges of his mouth went really, _really _far down his chin. He opened his mouth, and was startled to hear a _"ribbit" _slip out. The room suddenly began shooting downwards, and Cloud flailed, trying to figure out what was going on. His eyes inadvertently squeezed shut.

When the world stopped spinning, Cloud warily opened one eye.

At first, when his eye came face to face with the floor, he thought that he'd maybe tripped or something. The robe was always getting in the way.

Then Cloud realized that he couldn't even feel the robe anymore.

Cautiously, Cloud peeled his face up off the floor—

—and came, literally, face to face with the frog from before.

It was the same _size_ as him. For a moment, Cloud panicked, thinking that maybe he'd accidentally shrunk himself. It had happened to another Apprentice; his Master had only found him after someone had stepped on him.

Then he frowned. If he was really shrunk, he'd look like lunch; he'd be _frog food _by now.

So why wasn't he?

The frog in front of him ribbited, cocking its head.

Slowly, Cloud lifted his—hand?—off the floor. No, not lifted, peeled; it made an obnoxious squelching noise as it came off. He brought it in front of his face, squinted.

His hand wasn't a hand anymore.

It was a webbed _foot. _

"No," Cloud whimpered, "No no no." Wobbling, he made his way over to the scrying glass propped up against the bookcase, just managing to peer over the frame.

On the other side, he could just make out the trembling, wide-eyed reflection of a small, golden frog, with big blue eyes and a terrified expression.

That hadn't been just _any _frog…that had been a _Touch Me_.

Cloud was now a frog.

He was in _such _deep trouble.

And, of course, that was the moment chosen for the doorknob to jiggle.

The Touch Me, immediately recognizing that this situation was getting out of hand, turned around and began hopping calmly away. Cloud whipped his head around, eyes widening further. If that was Genesis, he was such dead meat. He had thirty seconds until Genesis disabled his own hex and got in.

What he should have done was look for a hiding place. Instead, for the remaining thirty seconds, he hopped in a circle in a blind panic.

The door was kicked open. In a swirl of red and black, Genesis swept into the room, running a hand through his hair.

If Cloud had thought as a human that his Master was scary, looking at him as a frog was even worst. Genesis was wearing the standard black cotton that wouldn't interfere with his spells, along with the trademark red coat flapping around him. The symbols on his hexing earring were burning brightly in one ear, while the smaller earring in the other ear blazed in answer; Genesis had just hexed some unfortunate soul. Looking up all the way, Cloud reaffirmed that; Genesis had an absolutely frighteningly gleeful grin plastered on his face. His hair was swirling around his head like it had a life of its own, glowing at the tips.

Cloud very nearly peed.

Genesis shrugged out of his coat, throwing it off to the side, and turned forward. And then…he froze.

He'd spotted Cloud.

Mouth dropping open in terror, Cloud stared up at Genesis. Genesis stared down at Cloud as his grin slowly morphed first into a puzzled frown, and then to a scowl of realization.

With a curse, Genesis reached for his wand, only to realize that it was in his coat. As he darted for it, Cloud let out a half-squeak, half-croak of panic, leaping for the bookshelves. Maybe he could hide behind those?

When Genesis pulled out his wand, though, Cloud's idea was quickly squashed.

"_Inferno_!" Genesis roared, and a jet of flame shot over Cloud, into the bookshelf. Sparks flew, and Cloud skidded, hopping in the other direction. His new legs were too long and awkward, and he kept tripping. It was like running with honey on his socks; he kept sticking to the floor when he didn't need to.

Genesis whirled, spitting out some other command; a jolt of electricity zapped the floor right next to Cloud's foot. Cloud reached the leg of Genesis's desk, scrabbling at it. From above came a familiar _ribbit_. Cloud looked up, seeing his Touch Me friend staring down at him.

If it could climb it, so could Cloud.

Biting back a whimper, Cloud slammed his foot against the leg. It stuck; he hurriedly wrapped all four legs around it, shimmying himself upwards. From behind him, Genesis cursed out every Summon's mother he could name; Cloud could hear his wand fizzing, then an explosion that rocked the room. Cloud winced. Genesis had thrown his wand into the corner again; Cloud would have to clean that up.

Considering he survived, which he wasn't going to.

Cloud clumsily made his way to the top, huddling next to the Touch Me. Genesis was standing in the middle of the room, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Cloud cocked his head; maybe this was a perfect time to escape. He eyed the potions shelf. He couldn't jump up there…maybe he could climb…?

"That Apprentice…" Genesis mumbled, swaying slightly. Cloud shot him a worried look as he tried to clamber around the Touch Me.

Genesis chuckled darkly now, shaking his head. "He's the one who always likes the frogs. Where is he? He needs proper _punishment."_

Proper punishment equaled _bad. _

"_Yes_," Genesis hissed, lowering his hand. Cloud jumped; his eyes were blazing not unlike his earrings, a bright, evil red. "I'll eat the little frog first, and then I'll feed the green one to Cloud. And then…" He smirked evilly. "I'll eat _Cloud_."

Cloud's mouth dropped open in horror. It took only a few seconds to process that the little frog was _him. _Genesis was going to eat _him. _And then he was going to feed him the Touch Me! And _eat him again! _

Never mind that the whole thing was unusually overkill—

—Genesis was a _cannibal_!

All those times that Cloud had wondered when his Master was going to snap suddenly came together as Genesis looked up, a cruel smile curling up the sides of his lips.

"Were you the one, little frog, who was using my Book?" Genesis crooned, slowly coming closer. In one hand, a roiling ball of flame emerged from the gloved palm.

Cloud put all of his weight into trying to shove his Touch Me friend, so they could both get out of there and away from the hungry Genesis, but the frog just patiently sat there. Cloud screamed at it, trying to get it to move, but it didn't budge. Looking down, Cloud saw that they were sitting right on Genesis's Book. Suddenly, he realized what was happening. _He'd _brought the Touch Me here. The Touch Me wanted back home, and the only way it thought it was going to get there was through the Book.

Cloud suddenly felt like a jerk.

"Or was my _Apprentice_ using the Book?" Genesis mused. He was very close now, fire in his eyes burning vivid orange now. "Were the both of you looking at the _pretty_ pictures?"

Cloud closed his eyes, then opened them and made a quick decision. Crouching down, he sprang towards Genesis. It was completely suicidal; Cloud had been hoping to catch Genesis off-guard, maybe give the other frog enough time to escape. Halfway there, though, Cloud recognized that he'd only sealed his own fate. Genesis calmly raised a hand, and Cloud shot towards it like a magnet.

"Well," Genesis said with a grin, "That takes care of one." His hand wrapped like a vice around Cloud's leg. Cloud protested, but quickly fell silent; he was upside down and swinging. He didn't want to find out what it was like to vomit as a frog.

Genesis reached out, picking up the Touch Me by a foot. Taken away from the Book, it began protesting and wriggling wildly—way too late.

"Lunch time," Genesis said, in a sing-song tone. Cloud was lifted up _way _too high in the air, until he was dangling head-down over Genesis's open mouth.

Cloud screamed, wriggling with all his might. Unfortunately, that just made him slip faster. Genesis's mouth came up way too fast, and Cloud was suddenly _inside._

Genesis began to choke, doubling over as he gagged. Cloud screamed again, still wriggling; and then, suddenly, he was spat out across the room. It was a blur of color while he sailed, but Cloud could still see where he was headed; right for the boiling cauldron.

So that was it, Cloud thought miserably. Dead because he couldn't decide whether or not to turn off the cauldron. How cruel the world was.

At the last moment, though, a hand shot out in front of him. Genesis! He slapped Cloud, and off Cloud went the other way. It was too fast, though—

The wall was in front of him, and then—

_SPLAT._

…

…

…

* * *

><p>Cloud briefly registered being picked up. Everything hurt, and he felt completely…<em>crumpled. <em>Opening his eyes, he could just barely make out the swimming image of Genesis leaning over him.

There was a sudden jolt of electricity traveling down his limbs. Cloud jerked; it felt like something was stretching his body quite suddenly, piece after piece—

—until, abruptly, it stopped.

Cloud responded to this by immediately turning his head and throwing up on the floor.

There was a noise of disgust. Wiping his mouth miserably, Cloud looked up; Genesis was making a face at the mess he'd made.

"Thank you for throwing up on my shoes after I saved your life," Genesis said sarcastically. He shifted his leg, and something bonked into the back of Cloud's head. Slowly, he realized that he was lying on Genesis's knee.

Weird, considering that he'd just been about to _eat _Cloud.

Dazedly, Cloud lifted foot in front of his face.

It was a hand again.

Cloud was human.

And then, just like that, Cloud remembered all the stuff Genesis had said _while_ he was a frog. With a yelp, he shot up, scrambling away from Genesis.

Genesis cocked an eyebrow.

"Y-Y-You said you were going to eat me!" Cloud stuttered.

Genesis got to his feet, stalking forward. Cloud resumed scrambling backwards, tripping over his robe, until he was pressed up against the burnt bookshelf.

Genesis jabbed a finger into Cloud's chest, eyes narrowed. "I told you not to touch my Book, boy."

Cloud opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then moved his eyes to his lap.

"According to your papers, in all rights, I _am_ actually allowed to eat you, if I felt like it," Genesis continued, "Only you're all baby-fat and no substance." He took one of Cloud's cheeks in-between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing. "See? You probably taste horrible."

Cloud sniffled. "I—I didn't _mean _to touch your Book. Y-Your cauldron was on, and—"

Genesis held up a hand, and Cloud looked back down at his lap miserably. His mouth tasted like vomit, and he would have eagerly gulped down any number of Potions to get rid of the taste.

"I told you not to touch my Book," Genesis said, examining his gloves. "That was an order. Still, you deliberately disobeyed me and used it, not only once, but several times. The gremlin, for example."

Genesis knew about the gremlin. Cloud's face grew hot as his head slowly shrank into his shoulders.

"I meant to give you a proper lesson by chasing you around as a frog," Genesis continued, "But it got out of hand."

Hold the Behemoth.

"You knew the frog was me?" Cloud blurted, his face shooting upwards.

Genesis scoffed. "Please. Do you know anybody else who can have a baby-face even as a frog? And besides…no frog has big blue eyes."

He did have a point.

"Forgive me for getting carried away," Genesis muttered. "I really didn't mean to swallow you. Though, holding a frog in your mouth is supposed to be good for the throat."

"Thank you!" Cloud blurted. "For not swallowing, I mean."

Genesis gave him a strange look, and then leant over a little, brushing back his hair. Cloud, for some odd reason, took this as a sign of affection, and clutched Genesis's hand, looking up at him with wide, adoring eyes.

A light went on behind Genesis's eyes, and he suddenly grinned, extending his arms.

Cloud, rapidly becoming gooey eyed, moved forward into the embrace. It'd been a while since he'd been back home, and he was a sucker for hugs. He buried his face in Genesis's shirt—

—and noticed, too late, the green flash in Genesis's hand.

Before Cloud could leap back, or even try to take back the deadly mistake, the world was already spinning again. By the time it cleared up, Cloud realized that he had been shrunk…again.

And, he was a frog.

Again.

"Genesis!" Cloud squawked in horror, looking up at the Sorcerer. In one hand dangled the, now protesting again, Touch Me. With a flick of his wrist, Genesis cast a spell, and the frog floated over to the Book, disappearing into the pages.

"I don't think you properly learned your lesson, little frog," Genesis purred, his lips extending into an evil smirk. He extended a hand, exposing a glowing materia; his eyes were glowing red again. "Stick out your tongue, Cloud. You haven't been cleaning the chamber pots that well recently."

Cloud's life sucked.

._._._.

**a/n:**

This story is officially declared as weird, attributing mainly to the author being sick; I felt it getting a little purple in some places. Yes? No? Please let me know. And yes, there was a medieval cure for sore throats that involved holding a live frog in your mouth. Cool, eh?

Happy late birthday, RegenesisX! :3


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